maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
