you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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