Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
