headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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