So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
