I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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