apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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