im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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