Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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