Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
