He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Randomize
