White coat. Heels.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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