get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
