I think my vagina is haunted
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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