every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
my poor anus
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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