She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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