chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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