My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
