I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
i out mim tonsoeep
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
