Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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