That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My bed smells like the plague
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
