I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
