just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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