so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
