brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
