I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
