She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
