I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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