Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
