Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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