i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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