U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
