69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
