What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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