Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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