I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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