Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I think people are normalizing furries
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
