Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize