Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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