She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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