I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
