i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
