I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
