I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
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