she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
