Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
