I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
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