i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
