ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
