we have pet lesbian snakes
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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