he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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