Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize