yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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