how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
