I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
did i just pee glitter
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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