It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
