I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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