just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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