p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Do vagina's smell?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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